Tuesday, November 6, 2007

"Are you nursing?"

My least favorite question these days is "are you nursing"? Allow me to vent a little bit on this topic :)

The first month we had Abby, she didn't nurse well. I stressed out in the hospital with nurses trying to help me get her to nurse, then meeting with the lactation consultant. Then, coming home, she wouldn't latch on well, we used a shield that still didn't help much. I stuck with it and, at her one month appointment we learned she hadn't gained any weight. I was ready to quit, throw in the towel, just go to formula. The Dr. said we'd need to breastfeed, then supplement then pump and to do this every 2 hours for 2 weeks. I also started taking fenugreek to help increase my milk supply. It was very difficult but we stuck with it and she gained weight. She thrived :)

I absolutely hate nursing in public. I don't like nursing in front of family, although it's natural, I just feel awkward. When we'd go to Bible study, I'd nurse in another room, by myself where I just felt isolated from everyone! Then, if I tried to pump a bottle so I wouldn't have to feed in public, I'd stress cause I wouldn't get enough extra milk pumped.

This time around, I knew what to expect. I didn't let the nurses try and help me breastfeed. I came home and just started bottle feeding. I know the benefits of breastmilk and don't mind pumping to give it to him. It's easier for me to pump then it is to try and get Christian to nurse, especially if Abby's sitting there.

I had a quick talk with Jen Gray on Sunday. I was feeding Christian a bottle while walking the halls after church to pick up Abby. She encouraged me saying that the important thing is that I'm feeding Christian :)

I love knowing exactly how many ounces of milk he's getting a day. I love that he's not 100% dependent on me feeding him, Robby or Abby can give him a bottle anytime!

Each time I'm asked if I'm nursing, I begin to feel insecure. Is what I'm doing wrong? I started surfing the web and found an excellent support group for Moms who pump! A lady on the site says we as pumping mom's can say we're nursing our kids, even though it's not from "the tap"!

Here is a photo of Abby feeding Christian, something that couldn't be done if I exclusively nursed! :)


http://www.exclusivelypumping.com/

8 comments:

Chiara said...

You are right, Rebecca. It doesn't matter how you feed Christian. It is great he is getting the nutrients of mom's milk and Abby and daddy can help feed him too. : ) Don't stress about what you choose for your kids if other people just have a different opinion. You are a SUPER mom. Abby and Christian are blessed!

Seagers said...

Rebecca,
From a mom who struggled with this and still do, I totally get it. A friend told me too that it does not matter how or what I feed Chase, but that he knows that I am going to feed him and take care of his needs. Just think, 30 years ago those who nursed were the ones who got the strange looks and comments. love ya!

Heather said...

I'm glad you found something that works so well for you! In answer to the nursing question, I think you can definately say "yes!". I had another friend who did exactly the same thing.

Mom To Many said...

Hi Rebecca! Being a lurker! :-) Congrats on your baby boy! Breastfeeding is so hard! I wish more women were made aware of this BEFORE they have their babies! I much I don't enjoy breastfeeding, Shaylee took to it VERY well. I'm one of the "lucky" ones. I know so many women who have struggled so much then have been made to feel so guilty for bottle feeding. I think that's terrible. No matter what or how you are feeding your baby, your are nourishing him, loving him and meeting his needs! That's the best any mother can do! Try not to feel so judge, but I know it's hard. I just introduced formula to Shaylee (6 months) and my goodness the comments I have gotten from some people you'd like I started feeding her poison or something! Best of luck to you and you're family! :-)

Laura said...

I can't really comment other than state the fact that both my boys were on formula from day one and are perfectly healthy!! I find it funny how every mom has this urge to comment on how we choose to feed our children. Anyway a mom chooses will be the best way for mom and child. What a great opportunity for Abby to help out and of course Dad and anyone else. I loved watching my boys allow anyone to feed them. Don't ever question what you feel is the best for your family! You're doing awesome!!!

Jennifer Gray said...

I would guess that all the moms who ask or comment about whether or not you (or anyone else for that matter) are nursing are only curious. I always try to give the benefit of the doubt and assume that people mean no harm by the things they say. I'm sure I've said many things that have offended people by mistake. I've even had quite a few well meaning mothers tell me that I could have breastfed Jordan even though she was missing the roof of her mouth. Now that's funny. :) I felt confident in my and my husband's decision and that was really all that mattered. Pray about your decisions, seek counsel from your husband and then be confident.
:) Jen

Kelly @ The Nourishing Home said...

Hi, Rebecca. I had the same issue with Cavan in that I had low milk supply and the fact that he was not a good nurser, made the situation even more difficult. I got the same questions and agree with Jen that most of the time it's just people being curious or wanting to strike up a conversation about their own experiences as a mother. Sometimes though it can be judgmental and that's when it hurts, but don't let it get you down. We should be so thankful that we live in such an affluent society that we can daily feed our children adequately, not everyone can do that, even if nursing, because of poverty. Praise the Lord that He has blessed us and may we be so thankful and mindful of our wealth and may it spur us on to help feed His children throughout the world. Enjoy your time with your little one, before you know it, he'll be eating you out of house and home when his friends come over and hang out (check out our blog about Cavan's sleepover - haha!)! Much love and prayers are with you!!

Sarah said...

Hi Rebecca! I hope you are totally comforted and reassured that you are doing what's best for Christian. May your confidence be 100% in Christ.